Just got home from a little 3-day tour Sunday. I ate poorly, drank too much, slept little and had more fun than should be legal. And some of it probably wasn't. We played some great shows, made a superfan, met some fantastic people, connected with friends and even got to drink some genuine Appalachian moonshine. (It's better than you'd think, but could still probably fuel your gas tank.) It was a much needed vacation from the ordinary, and my faith in humanity has been restored. It's always hard to come back after all the fun.

Sunday, we woke up an hour past our hotel's check out time. MC was outside smoking when a member of housekeeping asked rather snootily if we had, in fact, requested a late check out. Had I been outside smoking, here's what I would have said:

"First of all, you're very rude. Secondly, I've got 6 people drunk off moonshine in there. You think I'm just gonna shake them into consciousness?"

We had to haul our gear up 3 flights of stairs and only one person was able to take a shower because the water would not drain. That was 70 dollars well spent! But what they lacked in service they made up for in food at the diner attached to the hotel. And they had THREE plasma tv screens that only showed cakes. Big cakes, of a various assortment, and lots of them. I think they call that the Stoner channel.

Speaking of fun tv channels, did you ever listen to the This American Life episode about the guy who wanted to start a channel that showed only puppies? The Puppy Channel! And studies show people are actually interested in watching puppies on tv, but they were unable to find proper funding. If you are wealthy philanthropist, I urge you to locate this man and give him your money. You won't regret it. In fact, I have a plan to bring peace to the Middle East. It involves hours of footage from the Puppy Channel and a large projector. Who wants to blow shit up when there are sweet lil' puppies around? I can see the commercial now: Me, in the desert, surrounded by puppies clumsily falling all over each other, holding one up to my tear-stained cheek, my makeup streaked, crying, "If you could just donate an inkling of your love to a puppy in need, countless lives could be saved!"

Just an idea. I'm full of 'em.

I Got Your Number

Office musings:

1. That impatient, vaguely annoyed attitude coming off you like stink? Won't get your jobs done any faster. But a little sugar could make a world of difference. Or at least an extra 15 minutes, give or take.

2. Look, I realize you're new, and before you, there weren't a whole lot of twenty-something men with reasonably good physiques and a big helping of self-confidence running around here, but when we're talking and you eyes keep drifting to my chest? Yeah, I totally notice. Not fooling anyone.

3. Just because we're coworkers, doesn't mean we're friends. Nothing personal, but outside these four walls, in my real life? I try to avoid bringing megalomaniacal, egocentric people into my fold.

Gettin' Hot In Hur

Only a mere two-and-a-half weeks ago, the Winter Solstice marked the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. In Kentuckiana*, winter means temperatures around the 30's, with the occasional rain, snow and ice. Today, January 8, it is 70 degrees outside. My husband keeps commenting on how nice the weather is. But I'm wondering how high I'll have to climb to safety when the polar ice caps melt.

*Kentuckiana, so far as I can tell, is how the locals refer to the area surrounding the border of Kentucky and Indiana. Does this happen everywhere? Because I don't hear people calling the area around Illinois and Indiana "Illiana," though that may because Gary smells like it may be solely responsible for the hole in our atmosphere. Hmm, on second thought, that'd make a great name for that area. Or what about Kentucky-O, where Ohio and Kentucky meet? That'd make a great name for a cereal. I imagine it would be a delicate balance of snooty whole grain and enough sugar to put a small mammal in a coma.
The word, "Kentuckiana," is not listed in Merriam-Webster, proving once again that we're all just making it up as we go along and attributing meaning as we see fit. Think about that the next time someone is offended by your bad language. Fuckity fuck fuck fuckity fuck. See? Just words. Didn't hurt a damn thing.

It's a New Day

I spent 2 full days last weekend tearing apart, cleaning and organizing my office/studio space. It's amazing how much shit piles up, particularly in the form of paper, over the course of a year while you are traveling, working and generally avoiding the little things that need to be done. (Because in my world, a clean house is low on the priority list. Don't like dog hair on your clothes? Don't sit on my furniture.) It feels so good to have a clean and organized workspace, though I didn't touch a single other room in my home. I find it difficult to get in my organizational super-cleaning mode, and unfortunately my momentum was impeded when I had to come into work on New Year's Eve for a half day, only to be given about an hour's worth of actual "work." Thanks for interrupting progress in my real life so that I could help limit your quota for buisness holidays. Because I'm here for YOU.

In the afternoon, we had a fun rehearsal/recording session, after which B & I found ourselves free from any New Year's Eve obligations. I was so excited about not having anything to do, I can't begin to tell you. Funny, because not so long ago I would have been geared up for a night of partying. Instead, we had ourselves a private pajama party. And you were not invited.

All of my New Year's Day dreams came true; I spent the entire day, in my pajamas, with my husband and fuzzy babies. Call me a simpleton, but I can't think of a better way to spend my time.

Hope you had a fantastic holiday and that all of your New Year's dreams came true.