Christmas Time Is Here

Full disclosure: I am facing what the corporate world optimistically refers to as a "challenge" when it comes to keeping a "positive attitude" about the holidays.

Friday, as I was weaving my way out of downtown through all the idiots who don't know what those silly lines in the road mean or how to use a turn signal, my brother called to say he'd be at my house earlier than expected. All I needed was ten minutes. Ten minutes – to myself – for what I like to refer to as an "attitude readjustment." In this case, it meant blowing straight past my husband as he held the door open for me upon my arrival home in a beeline for our bar. I had envisioned a bloody Mary, but I was too impatient to actually mix a drink. Two Makers on the rocks later, I was feeling a bit more relaxed, though my mental state was surly, at best. The three of us, my brother, my husband and I, planned to carpool to Indy to stay the night and attend a family Christmas party the following day.

There are a lot of nice things I could say here about spending time with family during the holidays. Some of them would even be true. But at this moment in time, I simply lacked the energy it takes to fake that I am having a ball! and really looking forward to it!

We packed up the car and headed north. My brother offered to drive, for which I was extremely grateful. I've done a lot of traveling lately, and on each trip, I am either driving or playing co-pilot. It was with great relief that I filled up my flask and piled in the backseat. By the time we reached Indy, I was feeling loose and warm, and my flask was empty.

I managed to keep my mouth shut for most of the visit, though there was a moment where I nearly lost it. A relative, who shall remain nameless, but I will tell you she is a relative by marriage, was discussing her new job as an interior designer. She was bragging about a client who just spent $30,000 on – get this – curtains.

Let me give you a minute to digest that.

Thirty THOUSAND dollars. On curtains. And before I could stop myself, I shouted, "How could you live with yourself?!" It is Christmas, for Christ's sake, a time when we're all (ok, maybe not as many people as I'd like to think) acutely aware of global poverty, and these people just spent $30,000 to cover their windows.

But I digress. All things considered, the trip was a success. The boys were all, "Well, that wasn't so bad! Things could have been way worse!" And they're right. But that didn't change the fact that immediately after we piled into our respective places in my car, I requested a stop at the nearest liquor store, where I purchased a pint of Makers and proceeded to nurse it the entire drive home.