I'm a Big Kid Now

As I sit at my desk at work, drowning my frustrations of the day in chocolate, I have decided to compose two lists in an attempt to alleviate my cluttered mind. This time of year is filled with commitments and preparation for those commitments, in addition to your daily responsibilities, and I often find myself feeling guilty for all the things that I cannot do because I am too busy or too overwhelmed and instead must distract myself with sleep or television, because it is all just too much to face some days. And for reasons too long to go into, and likely unnecessary for you to know in order to relate, I equate these things to either successes or failures in my quest for adulthood. (Perhaps the bigger question is, why am I on such a quest to begin?) So list number one:
Ways in Which I Am Failing As An Adult
1. I can't remember the last time I ran a vacuum in my home, mopped a floor, cleaned a window or dusted anything.
2. I can't remember the last time I actually filed something, instead of creating yet another pile of paper on the floor.
3. I have less than $200 in my savings account.
4. Let's not even discuss what I have not saved for retirement so far.
5. The list of people who I need to visit and/or send a birthday card to is too long to list here.

Ways in Which I Am Succeeding As An Adult
1. My bills are paid.
2. I have bought approximately 1/3 of my Christmas gifts already and it's only December 4, a record for me.
3. I have actually been using my day planner and subsequently have been acutely aware of how little time I do have, which, theoretically speaking, means I'm budgeting my time.
4. I have made sleep a priority in an effort to keep my health up. (Ok, so maybe I use it as a scapegoat for getting things accomplished, but when I start thinking about all the little things that I need to do, all the clutter and disorganization physically and metaphorically, I begin to feel warm and drowsy and like my eyelids have little weights in them. And how can I face the day without the proper amount of rest?)

More on this later.

Or not.