Then As It Was, Then Again It Will Be

"...An' though the course may change sometimes/Rivers always reach the sea"
Ten Years Gone, Led Zeppelin


It must be the time of year, but lately my head is flooded with memories of days passed. The newness of spring inspires me to take inventory and make changes. I've been thinking a lot about the things I complain about, wondering what's at the root of my dissatisfaction. It's a restlessness probably typical of the change in seasons, but no less valid. I'm experiencing nostalgia for old friends, places I used to live – but at the same time, having no desire to go back. The future holds too much allure for me, and the present demands my attention. I've been thinking a lot about the people I'm surrounded by and how naturally their energy affects my state of mind. I wonder what message my own energy sends. Yesterday a guy in a giant Hummer (boy, isn't that redundant) jumped lanes and nearly side-swiped my little VW. Without thinking twice, I simultaneously laid into the horn and gave the Italian salute, while offering him a few choice expletives. Not that it wasn't a dickhead move, and clearly it takes a certain type of personality to drive such a monstrosity with flagrant disregard for it's environmental and economic consequences, but I'm thinking this is not what Krishna had in mind when he was guiding Arjuna into battle.

And then, if I broaden the scope, I think about how across the ocean, on an entirely separate continent, there are millions of people coping with rampant infections of the AIDS virus and mass genocide, while I'm driving around in my $20k import on the way home from my job to a house with a yard and clean water, angrily flipping the bird to my fellow man. It's ridiculous. And it's a conundrum, really, because we can't change our American reality. Well, we can, but not all at once, and only with some cooperation. My dad is famous in our family for his deadpan response to hearing the craziest of situations and responding with a shake of his head and the reminder, "Everybody's got problems."

I can't fix everything I'd like to, but I can control the role I play and the energy I give off and the people who surround me. So that's what I'm thinking about.

In a few hours I'll be staring at miles of highway, searching the grey concrete for incite. I'll let you know if I come up with any.