We're On Lockdown At Our House

Ok, so those lyrics are my own, and to a song not even recorded, so there's absolutely no way you can reference this. But like Frankie says, "I do it my way."

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We're buying a house. We close in two days. I have about 6 boxes packed.

So, um, yeah...

Last night, as we were lying on our dirty sheets, we asked ourselves when was the last time either of us took a shower. We couldn't remember. This morning we finally bathed (and even washed our hair), however, I failed to remember to brush my teeth. So I've been sitting here at work all day with a stale mouth and grimy teeth.

At home, there are boxes and things scattered everywhere. Along with a pile of dog shit on my front porch, left by aging Shepherd, who doesn't seem to realize when she's having a bowel movement anymore, and some cat puke on the last bit of carpet I plan to remove as soon as I can get everything else I have to do done. Things are a bit messy at the moment.

We're very excited about buying our first home. And a little nervous. There have been meltdowns and strained conversations and the kind of scene you totally make fun of other people for making, say, fighting in the mall parking lot in front of Sears on your way to purchase appliances. But for the most part, we are really, really excited.

This would be even more exciting (and undoubtedly include less meltdowns) had I not committed to doing 3000 favors for other people during the same week I am trying to buy a house. But I agreed to these things months ago, (probably out of some insecurity about being a good friend, saying no, and passing on opportunities to challenge myself) before I knew we'd find a home. Now I just gotta make lemonade out of dog poop.

So I would like to say, to all of my friends who bother to read my sarcastic dribble, that I like you very, very much. But I can't hang out right now. I can't come to your party, I'm not going to the show, I won't be at the bar for drinks, I can't go to the movie, and I can't help chaperone your little sister's party. As wonderful as it is to be liked and invited, I fear I may collapse under this pressure and find myself on some highway, alone in my car, thousands of miles from here, if I make one more commitment, however small. But I promise, when things return to normal in a week or so, I will do anything you want – make your invites, d.j. your reception, sing on your album, come to your show, watch your pets for you while you're out of town, give you a ride, you name it.