Just got home from a little 3-day tour Sunday. I ate poorly, drank too much, slept little and had more fun than should be legal. And some of it probably wasn't. We played some great shows, made a superfan, met some fantastic people, connected with friends and even got to drink some genuine Appalachian moonshine. (It's better than you'd think, but could still probably fuel your gas tank.) It was a much needed vacation from the ordinary, and my faith in humanity has been restored. It's always hard to come back after all the fun.

Sunday, we woke up an hour past our hotel's check out time. MC was outside smoking when a member of housekeeping asked rather snootily if we had, in fact, requested a late check out. Had I been outside smoking, here's what I would have said:

"First of all, you're very rude. Secondly, I've got 6 people drunk off moonshine in there. You think I'm just gonna shake them into consciousness?"

We had to haul our gear up 3 flights of stairs and only one person was able to take a shower because the water would not drain. That was 70 dollars well spent! But what they lacked in service they made up for in food at the diner attached to the hotel. And they had THREE plasma tv screens that only showed cakes. Big cakes, of a various assortment, and lots of them. I think they call that the Stoner channel.

Speaking of fun tv channels, did you ever listen to the This American Life episode about the guy who wanted to start a channel that showed only puppies? The Puppy Channel! And studies show people are actually interested in watching puppies on tv, but they were unable to find proper funding. If you are wealthy philanthropist, I urge you to locate this man and give him your money. You won't regret it. In fact, I have a plan to bring peace to the Middle East. It involves hours of footage from the Puppy Channel and a large projector. Who wants to blow shit up when there are sweet lil' puppies around? I can see the commercial now: Me, in the desert, surrounded by puppies clumsily falling all over each other, holding one up to my tear-stained cheek, my makeup streaked, crying, "If you could just donate an inkling of your love to a puppy in need, countless lives could be saved!"

Just an idea. I'm full of 'em.