Don't Hit Me No More

~Mabel John

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Yesterday, as I was coming to life over a cup of coffee and the morning news, an "etiquette expert" was discussing the appropriateness of pantyhose. It appears to be gradually disappearing from the work place, thanks to a younger generation of women who have succumbed to the comfort and, let's face it, less-than-professional look of bare legs.

Oh, the vulgarity. The lewdness of foregoing this sheer, nude netting and leaving the bare, unchaste stems of your feminine flower exposed for all to see.

With a knowing shake of her head, she urges women everywhere to at least have the good sense to wear hose if you're going to be in front of a podium.

Ladies, be warned. Between the line of propriety and obscenity lies a sheer pair of nylons.

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Do you hear that? It's the sound of the blood, sweat and tears of our fore-mothers being flushed down the toilet.