Fun Till Daddy Takes The T-Bird

It's Fun to Work in an Office
There are many things I enjoy about working in an office environment. Take yesterday, for example. I was wearing a bright yellow scoop neck shirt with puffy sleeves that I bought at this awesome second-hand store in the Highlands. The first comment was made by my boss, the picture of sincerity: "Are you wearing my favorite shirt? Aww, you are! Gosh, I wish I could wear stuff like that."

After a solid hour of waiting for her to return with work as promised, I walked up to her desk where she was socializing with another, equally sincere co-worker. Staring at my shirt, Sincere Co-Worker asks with enthusiasm, "Are you going to have a sunshine-y day?!" I returned a blank stare in her direction and replied emphatically, "YES. YES I AM."

Other comments made by Sincere Boss in the last 5 work days also include, but are not limited to:
• "That skirt is soo cute. Did you lose weight?"
• "Is that new eye shadow? It's shiny."


Fun Quotes From A Weekend Visit With Family

• "I know how you guys just love music, and we have the BEST music at our church. You guys would just LOVE to come to a service some time." You betcha.

• "I call gay people 'flamers'." How wonderful and kind of you.

• "Do you want some bottled water?" x300.

• "I want a cousin!" As in, "You need to have a baby and provide one."

• "I'm never going to speak to _______ ever again." An old standard.

A Little Effing Credit
In case anybody's keeping track, I'd like to point out that in the name of keeping peace, I kept my internal dialogue internal. Just when I thought the dam of indemnity would burst and I would say something I really meant, I promptly excused myself and went to bed. All-in-all, a successful visit: no big fights and my dignity only minorly scathed. Several days of xanax and mind numbing activity to help erase my memory, and I should be back to normal.

Yep, It's Still Awesome
Owning a house centrally located to everywhere I need to go on a regular basis is still totally fucking amazing. Being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, while answering to no one, is even better. It's the freest I've ever been in my whole entire insignificant little life. And I didn't even have to take over a third-world country.