I Wonder If We Can

I finally finished Bob Gruen's John Lennon, The New York Years. It's remarkable how easy it is to relate to John, given his fame. His self-consciousness and sensitivity to the things around make him seem more like the rest of us. I'm impressed by his tenacity to become a better, healthier person, especially during the last few years of his life. The tragedy of his sudden murder was only magnified by how hard he worked to turn his life around.

Gruen doesn't come across as arrogant or boastful in his writing. He doesn't speak for John, or his family for that matter, but he speaks about him the way you would someone you really care about. It seems like everybody wants to write a book on a celebrity, and so many have been written about John Lennon that it's got to be tough to come up with an angle to make your book stand out. Gruen was John and Yoko's personal photographer for about a decade, and probably every famous photo of John that you can think of was taken by him. Since they were also friends, Gruen was around for more intimate, everyday moments. One of my favorite photos is of John and Yoko walking down a pier at dawn. A day or two before the picture was taken, Nixon won the election, and John took it exceptionally hard. They left the studio and went to a party, where John walked right up to some woman, in front of Yoko, took her into another room and began loudly having sex with her. I can't imagine how horrible Yoko felt and how uncomfortable Bob and everyone left in the room was. By the time the photo was taken,
John had sobered and was obviously making amends. Having this back story, though, deepens the effect of the photo.

There is an underlying tension through the whole book, because you know eventually you will come to an account of his death. Bob chronicles the years in New York with personal stories and major events and is careful not to fast forward or foreshadow his death, or talk about John's past beyond those years he knew him, which I think lends him more credibility. In fact, he does such a great job staying in the moment that when I finally turned the page and saw the 2 glossy, solid black pages with only the words, "December 8, 1980," I had to stop and collect myself before I could turn to the next page. I realized I had arrived, and it felt sudden, abrupt and unforgiving.

The New York Years also gave me a more profound sense of how much John and Yoko cared for each other. Everything I had heard about Yoko before, everything I had assumed and judged and condemned her for, seemed so contrary in the context of their lives together. They were obviously very in love, in spite of, and maybe because of, all they had been through together. In my opinion, they're one of the greatest love stories of all time.

Reading this book put me in the moment of falling for John and losing him as if it just happened. It was an easy read and the photos, along with their back stories are incredible. I began reading The New York Years in late September, while recording my first full length record. I came across a copy of the book in the studio, and I read it here and there, during down time and between takes, and I finally got to the point where I had to have a copy of my own at home. It's been a source of inspiration over the last 5 months, and now I've finally finished it, along with the record.